I feel I have turned into a slug. Purely metaphorically you understand.
I have a court date with my ex thats ongoing. I am not allowed to go into detail but its regarding matters you would expect. It’s some of the last ripples in the ‘leaving an abuser’ journey that people who have left have to go through.
I have been surprised at how detrimental this has been. Its interesting how this has effected me mentally. My creativity has gone. Motivation has gone and is replaced with headaches and a real fogginess. I feel like asking friends if everything will be ok with no real specifics, just generally.
I say this as, when you have dealings with an abuser be it in work, friendship, family or relationships I think it's worth evaluating how detrimental to your mental health they can be. I am having dreams every night where I am back with him and trying to leave all over again. I wake up feeling like I’ve had such a hectic night.
It’s detrimental to your finances. I feel I am back to treading water and not making real roads anywhere regarding my small business. I’m floundering and loaded down with court dates, solicitor emails etc. I have experiences I want to give to the kids. I want that self worth of earning a decent income but this drive slows right down when your mind is being worn down.
So a note for September, have a clear out if you have stresses looming that need attentions, of people who are draining you. Get all these things behind you, have a clear out so your mind is free from clutter, draining people and you can too, if you are like me, stop being a slug.