police involvement - Emily the criminal.
- 20 hours ago
- 3 min read
I don’t think I ever told you about the police complaint that was issued after I broke that window to get my things out of my house. It was my first dealings with the police and it didn’t give me masses of confidence given the ignorance.
So, agreeablly breaking windows is not ideal. However. It wasn’t a criminal offence as I *own the property (the family home) and when you’re locked out of your own house by your father in law who had my key it does sting a little.
So my husband then rang the police to report me for breaking and entering. As I write this I'm aware it reads so silly and a complete waste of police time . Anyway, I then get a call from the local police officer who has spent over an hour chatting to my husband over tea and biscuits. The officer then wants to speak to me informally regarding the break in and to explain to me that if we all behave reasonably we don’t need to break windows. And what did I even need from the house? Some cutlery? As he was then told, and believed that was all that was taken and needed. I was also told he was very reasonable and just wants everything to be amicable. It's really not ideal to be breaking windows is it.? etc.
It left me quite upset at first as I felt belittled and confused. I’d asked the police if they would initially be willing to visit the property with me so I could get my things. They refused as they "didn’t have the time". It’s so frustrating then, they spent over an hour talking with my husband regarding an event where nothing criminal happened when they did apparently have the time. And then to be patronised and told if we all behave reasonably.
I explained I do behave reasonably and this is the man I had to take my children and run away from, leaving my home and job. But, to no avail, he had been charmed for over an hour by something abusers are brilliant at - building a really respectable, calm patient image and persona to the extent that I was then vilified and told to be reasonable. I'm a crazy ex wife who goes around breaking windows for a couple of teaspoons.
It’s also such a waste of police time and on a deeper level illustrates why people can feel such a lack of confidence in trusting the police. A complaint was put in which took around two years to get a response from after email after email. It was a bland standard response where nothing was done or said.
"It is my view that the Lancashire Constabulary have provided you with a reasonable
and proportionate outcome in relation to your complaint and therefore your review is
not upheld.
In addition, no further action is required by Lancashire Constabulary."
*When we bought the house it was with my house deposit. My family were worried as I had not legally put anything in writing to protect it. I did raise it with him. I say raised, it was almost a sentance I managed which was immediatly shut down. It shows - if you don't have the control and confidence to raise a difficult issue like that - its a relationship thats unhealthy with no emotional safety that, given what I now know would be a clear signal to end.
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