I have been hibernating. Emphasis on the 'have' there. I would rewrite in capitols but seems to aggresive with my coffee this morning. I've had to deal with some legal matters and it was amazingly draining and consuming. Its a good feeling to have everything done and i'm feeling so much more spritly.
Anyway, life can move on agan now and I am feeling so much better and lighter. Metephoricly.
Would you like to hear of some more refuge tales? I don't think I mentioned my counselling encounters. It was an odd experience when I never knew what I would hear next. It was so far away from traditional counselling principles. (I had some counselling when the children were babies and toddlers and you feel your life is so far removed from croissanst and long coffees. I think when you have a baby it should be 'how bad the post natel depression will be', not 'she had a little post natel depression' as I think having a baby sends everyone loopy.) Anyway, at refuge despite the lovely support staff there was alot to process and lots of conflicting thoughts and I thought some counselling would really help.
There are buildings/flats dotted around that you wouldn't know about, if you didn't need. They are full of people and families who are desperate for council housng. They all have to wait so, its like a waiting for a house home. It brought home how many people are waiting for an affordable home. The flats are rented and manned and they have some little meeting rooms there that you can use, so there we agreed to meet.
The only issue was, that the room wasn't free afterall There was a canteen sort of room instead in the building which she suggested. It's just it was silent and being cleaned by two cleaners, who were working in silence nearby. I know when I am doing housework I like to listen to somthing, so what better thing for them to listen to then me. My confidential issues, with the added plus that I am wanting to remain hidden and annonomous. "You don't mind do you?' said ..lets call her Trish... It sort of seemed a little precious to articulate my innermost thoughts, "I do mind, I'd rather not share my conflicting thoughts with the two cleaners too at this stage of catastropic change in my life". However, you're not very gutsy when you leave someone abusive so I said, "of course, this looks ideal for a confidential counselling session. I feel really comfortable to share my deepest thoughts, feelings and build up a relationship of trust with you Trish," Thereby off we go into our first session. It felt more like chit chat...
I was starting to get hungry when I reaslied we had been chatting for an hour and a half. The traditional counselling 50min hour wasn't the way this counseller liked to work towards. I was sort of restless though so I asked if I might leave. It's just I had heard a great deal about her son, her son's ex wife. Also her grandchild who has exsma. Her previous husband came into play too - they are are good terms,but, its taken time. It was an odd sesison all in all. I hope that I brough some comfort to her as she seemed to want some advice. Her health had been bad of late.
I remeber chatting about becoming a counseller as I'd done a little qualification earleir in life. I was surprised and realived that she had taken some qualifications as I wouldn't have know it from the sessions I attened. I think she'd formed a more organic way of working now.
Back at the flat in refuge my flatmate has just been flashed on the school run in the local area. My life has lots more colour now.
If you enjoy reading the blog and would like to support here is a link. Money from 'buy me a coffee' goes towards the children. You know, if you ever wonder how children cope after all thye have encountered, with the right nurture, from my own perspective, they have become poeple who have a greater understanding of what domestic abuse is, and what an unhealthy relationship looks like. They are so passionate about my happiness and looking after me. They are so gratful at my actions in leaving and we have become such a stong unit. I really like and love my children and all they have become. The domestic abuse helpine is there for a chat if you need, don't hesitate to call them if you think you may need.
#leavinganabuser #refuge #womensrefuge #coercivecontrol #domesticabusehelpline #drramani #counselling
National Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247
PS I really don't think there are any spelling errors. If there are consider yourself superior as I have missed them :)