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Ripples and Spikes

What are the ripples we may face after leaving?


I can confirm, that handovers may be tricky for a long time if you have children together. Take yesterday, and most of the handovers. There are digs and spikes to encounter, and they take some swerving. Mostly they hit their target and they hurt. I think what is never considered is, and I would say this to staff at refuge, he's a good parent. They would say, you can't be a good parent when you are happy to abuse the other parent and impact their mood and behaviour. Parenting is hard enough without then having to get yourself back together mentally to be the best parent you can be.


It's like lightly beating someone up, and then telling them to do an obstacle course in the best time possible - as trust me it will be getting timed if they are present. You can't as you are injured and are slower. You can't give your best parenting performance being distracted and feeling smaller.


If you do cave, and try to understand the mentally of someone who has so much hate, you will regret liaising, or starting any communication.


I did yesterday:


Me - Why do you have to be so nasty? It's why I hate handovers so much.


Him - Nasty?!? Laughable. Why do you have to be so on pins, over anxious, never willing to communicate freely and so sensitive to every iota, thing I innocently do or say? You havent even started the communication course yet. You hate anything to do with me because you can't move on.



I don't usually share personal messages, but this illstartes the gas lighting so well. Suddenly everything gets turned around so well. So, lovely reader. Don't engage more than you need on any level with people who will drain you. Deep breath, it's all worth it in the end.




National Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/hopeandmalr If you enjoy reading the blog and would like to contribute to a whole host of expenses it's much appreciated - Jolie needed a new mattress this month and three pairs of school shoes for them all. Give me strength :).






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