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Barges to barricades


My 10 yr old and I are walking Jess on the field. My best friend in the whole world coincidently has left her husband and she has no energy to help, she is simply too mentally drained. I indulge as my coping mechanism is to talk. I start to tell her about something my husband said, one of many criticisms. My daughter shocks me. “Mum why don’t you just leave him? I’m bowled over. “We’d be so happy just us” I’m amazed, “but darling, I’ve already put you through one divorce, (did I mention first husband had an affair, I left him) I can’t put you through that? We’d have to leave the house, it’s huge” “ Mum please, Leos so unhappy. “ It gives me the permission I have needed to make this gargantuan change. I start to formulate a plan, and look for a *solution.


  • *As a creative person this included camping for two months, buying a barge, moving into my parents two bedroom tiny bungalow, moving in with my best friends ex husband who was lonely but had a huge house. I also viewed a very cheap house with extensive fire damage whereby I could have built a barricade to ensure children did not fall through the first floor. These were the ridiculous (on reflexion) but desperate options I seriously researched. I had so little money and had no idea there was a clear pathway for women in my position, which there is - if I had actually phoned the National Domestic Abuse hotline earlier (0808 2000 247) it would have been so very useful. There is someone reading this I know to be trapped and afraid who wants to leave her abuser. Just make the call. The staff are friendly, they won’t tell you off or expect you to have broken ribs or bruises. I was worried the abuse wouldn’t be ‘enough’ to call, like I was wasting their time, or if I did speak to them and not leave my abuser straight away they would be annoyed. The number of times I dialled and hung up. I don’t even know what I was nervous of as all of the above seems silly now. At the time though you have such a brain fog, and you just can’t seem to think rationally. To conclude - ring them today.


  • I have to add at this stage I had happily pinged blogs over to my Dad to spell check being dyslexic. I just hadn’t realised fully the ripple effect abuse has and how upset it had made him reading it. I’ve had so much support, but he hasn’t, none of my family have. It’s a very stressful upsetting time for all involved, I’m going spell check free now as frankly its more important to raise awareness and get help then worry about spelling and grammar… so please excuse. If you would like to reply with red pen corrections for any teachers, perfectionists possibly librarians do feel free..

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/hopeandmalr

If you would like to support my family and I - the above link is to do just that. Thanks for reading x

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