My flatmate and her toddler became a promenade feature in our lives. It's so interesting when your're suddenly squashed together in a small space. She has the largest collection of cleaning products I have ever seen. We had some very cosy nights in where she would re-clean the very very clean kitchen and I tried to make some sense of life with a new note book and job lists.
Even more promenade was how heavily pregnant she was becoming. It began to dawn on me that we weren’t getting rehoused or finding somewhere to *rent and we were going to have a newborn in the flat with the very thin walls. It was also apparent that she had no family - well she had parents but they seem alien to me in their behaviour towards her.
It also becomes apparent that my flatmate needs a c-section. The nightmarish situation that is arising is worrying me. I am someone who, like the most of us can’t just not help when someone is struggling. I am also at that point in my life struggling emotionally, high stress levels, three children who are needing my full attention and nurture.
Refuge have some firm boundaries that this is independent living so it's clear that they won’t help in a healthcare capacity. We can’t have visitors at refuge, not that there is anyone really who would visit. Who is going to help my flatmate when she has her c section, her major op with her toddler and newborn. This is where the stress starts to come in. I’m trying to give my children all the attention but I’m amazed that there is no help that is offered to my flatmate. I’m advised to keep a firm boundary and it’s not my concern. A huge stressful storm is on the horizon, black clouds are gathering and soon she is due in three weeks. It turns out that it’s not three weeks but that evening as she begins to go into labour and has to go to hospital in an ambulance that night.
As her mother, her toddler has to go with her. Yes, it seems insane to me, like one of those horrible chaos dreams but that’s what happened. Off into the night her toddler is now her birthing partner. I have a sense of humour but THIS ACTALLY HAPPENED.
Do stay for the next to see how her toddler copes as her birthing partner during the C section and post recovery.
*Finding a rental was akin to winning the lottery. They had about 100 people wanting to just view a rental property. We were classed as ‘undesirable tennent's' as at that point my sole income was benefits. We were towards the very end of the rental queue. My husband was quite happy in the four bedroom house and wasn’t prepared to leave. He enjoyed rattling round. ..and still does. Another form of control, ignore all solicitor letters for a good year till it goes to court. ..oh and change the locks so I can't access my property.