It seemed like we had been living at refuge for ages. There are some long-term residents like me; we stuck in a dead end.
The school run was taking three hours a day, with three different schools, what joy. I continued to be on a first-name basis with estate agents to try to find a house to rent, which was near impossible as private landlords do not like 'self-employed, universal credit, give me a life raft while I get myself and three children together' type of tenants, while you could have Dave, works in IT, 43k a year, no children.
This blog is very jumpy in time, but let's go back to just before Christmas... here's the story of how Hope and Mallows came to be. It was Christmas time, and the staff all deserved a present. I thought they needed one of the best things you can eat, my handmade marshmallows with a ganache dipping sauce. The marshmallows have the softest, velvet-like texture, interrupted by the thinnest crust. They have a touch of sea salt and bourbon vanilla, and combined with the dipping sauce would be the best way to say thank you to all the staff.
So, out came my KitchenAid mixer, which I've had and polished for twenty years. It felt lovely to be doing something I loved again, and before long there was the softest pile of blush pink marshmallows and the sauce too. Eager eyes lit up at reception, and they were very popular.
It's funny how karma comes to say thank you. The manager at refuge is a cross between the most kind, compassionate person, with, when it comes to helping victims of domestic abuse, the energy and protective instincts of a Cane Corso/Rottweiler.
It was a time I was feeling very lost in terms of how to financially support my three children. I wasn't mentally strong enough at that time to have a job, combined with the school run. Retail hours were evenings and weekends, which was going to be so challenging with childcare, never mind school holidays.
So the manager at refuge wanted to chat with me. And here comes the karma part. She has a sister, Dani Wallace and together they were passionate about victims of domestic abuse. She had a foundation to help domestic abuse survivors access some of the best business mentors so they could build successful and sustainable businesses. Her sister felt the marshmallows and I should see Dani Wallace, and there it all began.
I had to wait till I was rehoused. I had to get the details done, like the kitchen certified, insurance, etc., but weekly support calls, and like a spaniel chasing rabbits, she blasted through what needed doing and who I should speak to, and together we got my business up and running. I had to call it Hope and Mallows because of the journey it took to get here. Because with small steps, hope and courage, and getting uncomfortable with building a visible business, it happened. The blog, this blog had been uncomfortable to write at times. I was uncomfortable with talking about my ex. Issues were arising as to the effect on my children. However, my opinion is that I want them to be educated on the effects of coercive control. I want people to know a route out if they are faced with domestic abuse and see that it's achievable; you just have to put the blinkers on, phone the domestic abuse helpline, and make it happen.
.If you enjoy reading the blog and would like to contribute here a link to buy me a coffee
National Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 - they are angels, don't hesitate to call them.
The flyanyway foundation linktr.ee/flyanywayfoundation
The Queen Bee dani - join the community - IATQB Hive on facebook, a fantasic community where everyone is welcome, 'except knob heads' :)
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